socks

Fall is here and Mother Nature is about to remind us just how beautiful it can be to let things go.  How the shedding of leaves can allow for rebirth and new growth.  How sometimes we have to lose that which protects us and means the most to us in order to enable something new to come into our lives.  Fitting that the universe would choose this time of year to really test my strength and fortitude.  This past month has been incredibly trying on my heart and my soul.

I should back up a bit here and tell you about the partner-in-crime I’ve had for the past decade.  Ever the immeasurable Harry Potter fan, I knew I’d one day have a pet named Dobby.  As I was driving to pick up my new six-week old dachshund puppy, I had no idea that she would have some of the same features as her titular character.  I instantly fell in love with those floppy ears and big eyes.  I would quickly learn that she also possessed the same mischievous spirit.  While her half-brother was more anti-social and had a no-bullshit temperament, they complemented one another well until we lost Doozer four and a half years ago.  Since then, Dobby and I have been quite the pair and have had more than a handful of adventures, including a cross-country move from Texas to Michigan.  More than just a pet, Dobby became my support dog and was the key to maintaining my mental health and sanity during the first year of the pandemic.  She happily welcomed having me home all day and she was the sole representation of family I had here in the new city.

Some things she never lacked were a healthy appetite and energy, so when those started to wane about a month ago, I knew something was amiss.  Off to the vet we went.  And then to a second specialist vet.  Numerous blood tests, radiographs, and ultrasounds later, we were able to rule out the big things like cancer and internal bleeding, and were handed a diagnosis of IMHA, or immune mediated hemolytic anemia.  Essentially, her body started attacking her red blood cells as if they were foreign invaders, causing an unrelenting case of anemia.  For the past month, we’ve been in and out of the animal hospital for tests and three blood transfusions, with no sign of the disease letting up, even with the handful of pills she was taking every day.  This most recent trip to the animal hospital revealed a bowel obstruction that was going to require surgery, and in turn, more blood transfusions.  While we would be able to get her through the surgery, her recovery was going to be a whole other battle due to the steroid and immunosuppressant therapy she’d been on for the IMHA.  It was time to have the hard discussion.

While most people were making lunch plans today, I was packing a bag with Dobby’s favorite blanket and toy.  And a pair of socks.  I was going to see my best friend for a final time and thank her for being such a good dog and companion.

To Dobby: thank you for being my ride or die, my COVID buddy, and my partner-in-crime for all these years.  Thank you for reminding me that unconditional love still exists. You were the sweetest and best dog ever. Thank you for your tenacity and grit this past month. You no longer need to fight and can now rest. I love you and miss you terribly. Master has given you a sock. Go, and be a free elf.